So, the beginning of 2016 was (for me) a bit of a challenging year! I was finishing the last 5 months of my Undergrad History Degree and I was honestly so stressed it’s unreal :(.
I started suffering with panic attacks which were accompanied with anxiety, two things I had never suffered with in my life, due to work overload and just the overall fear of failing. I was beyond worried that the 3 years I had nearly completed would be ruined by these last few months. Something I really did not want, because my course meant everything to me! Becoming a historian meant everything to me.
But! Come July I thankfully graduated with my BA Hons degree in History and I could not have been happier. It really is one of the best days of my life and definitely something I will forever remember :D.
Come the end of July I did however move back home to live with my mum and sister as I decided after what had been the best, but hectic, 3 years of my life I needed time out. I needed to earn money again, I needed to be with my family for a little while and I just needed a lot of chill out time. And now, looking back at it, I am happy I’ve done this because I am having time to chill, alongside now having a job where I’m working Sunday-Wednesday, but I am at home saving my hard earned pennies and just being a little more “less busy” you could say. But, that does not mean that moving back home didn’t upset me no end. I loved Hull, Hull had began to feel like my second home and everyone I knew and loved from Uni lived there too! So leaving them was so hard. I was a mess. But, I can’t deny that the back end of 2016 had been 5 of the best months I had had in SUCH a long time.
For many reasons really; 1. being around my little family of my mum, sister, nan and uncle again made me beyond happy! 2. I found myself in the best relationship I have ever been in, my boyfriend honestly makes me feel like the LUCKIEST girl. Paul makes me so happy and I just feel the most settled I have been in my entire life because; I trust him, I know he loves me due to how he treats me/makes me feel inside, he never makes me feel insecure and he just continues to amaze me all the time! I just love that one human being I get to call my partner (or boyfriend if you prefer that term) so so much! ❤ & 3. I finally started to feel comfy and happier in myself; I was beginning to love how I looked, loved what I wanted to do in life, love how I felt and overall I just had a lot of self love going on, which I never thought would make me feel so good.. but it did.. and still is!
So my aim for 2017 is to continue with this feeling I have right now. A lot of this is due to my life situation and who I have around me but, I wouldn’t change that for the world! Yes, the beginning of 2016 may have involved a lot of hard times involving work load, stressful life decisions and people but, the back end of the year definitely made up for that due to these things that happened in the beginning! So I wouldn’t change the fact that they happened what so ever 🙂 everything is a lesson! I’ve also made a lot more better life choices and decisions for myself; this could boil down to my eating habits, how I approach situations, how I look at situations, how I deal with situations, body life choices and change. Maybe this is TMI, but, I recently had to change my contraceptive pill I was on due to the government stopping it?! But, I found out that my hormone levels due to this pill were why my hormones were so incredibly high! Making my moods and temperament so “aggressive” all the time. I seriously have noticed the difference on this pill though and even that is a big thing for me, because all the things in this new pill are the same, BUT, the hormone levels are much lower and better! Which has made me a lot more calm and collected about things.
I no longer care about past situations, I no longer care about whether people are just being idiots for the sake of being idiots, I no longer care if there is people who I once valued in my life in my life anymore because there is clearly a reason we don’t involve ourselves anymore and that’s honestly fine, people change and that’s just growing up.
I just think life should be taken with a pinch of salt, enjoy what you have around you, do things that make you happy and just be YOU. I am looking forward to heading back to Uni to do my masters degree in History come October this year and I am also looking forward to the little projects I have set myself to do in the mean time of this. And in all honesty, I can’t wait. I can’t wait to be submerged in a subject I just love so much and fulfilling a dream I’ve had for so long with people and loved ones I truly want around me. I could not be happier :).
But, Happy 2017 guys! Let’s make it count!!!
With love, Charlotte x